I've received some complaints about my old post titled "Invasion Report 11/13-11/29". As you know if you read my blog (like anyone really does!), it was written in metaphor. As most people in this part of the world have difficulty figuring out metaphors, I will make this post all about translating it. However, know that it's nowhere near as awesome when you read it this way, and that you complainers are miserable sots.
Paragraph 1: I use a Sony Vaio desktop computer with Avast! Antivirus (set to pirate mode). It gave me a warning about a hostile url repelled.
Paragraph 2: When I accessed Facebook, I got an audio warning from my antivirus, and left before logging in, but kept getting more audio warnings every time I went to a new internet page. However, I did not receive any sort of dialogue box telling me additional information.
Paragraph 3: I closed my browser and tried to bring up Avast! But the whole window was a garbled mess with no functioning buttons. So I turned off my wireless connection and rebooted my computer.
Paragraph 4: I set Avast! (which was functional again) to run a boot scan, which found that the program Java and had been used to sneak in a virus. My Java hadn't been updated in some time and I don't use it, so I deleted the entire program and removed all components.
Paragraph 5: I sent an email to the Avast! Antivirus support center explaining my situation, and every time I opened a new page, I got another warning of hostile urls. They (Avast) replied via email (gmail didn't trigger a warning, thankfully) telling me to do exactly what I did. So I turned off my wireless connection and went to bed. The reference to wokou is a play on my Japanese-made desktop and the fact that my antivirus program is called Avast and set to pirate mode (click the link and read).
Paragraph 6: For the next few days, I didn't even try connect to the internet, until my roommate (named Christian) found he was unable to connect (which he expressed vociferously). I checked mine and found the same thing. We figured out that whoever had sneaked that virus to my PC had also hacked and subsequently taken over our router/modem (on lease to us from Charter). Thus, we were unable to get help online or even get security updates (which came two days later). So we said "screw you", and turned off the router.
Paragraph 7: The next day (my first day off in two months), I went to Wal-Mart and Best Buy to see what they had in terms of routers and modems, and went home with my report.
Paragraph 8: I waited until my roommate got back from work, and then we went to Wal-Mart to get a new router/modem, as they had lower prices on these things than Best Buy. We decided on a Motorola "Surfboard" router/modem. You know, the good one with the encryption that hasn't been cracked yet. We called Charter and cancelled the lease on their crappy router/modem, and let them know we had another one to use instead.
And now we can use the internet again! Unlike in the 90's...
As I have never blogged before, I have no idea what I'm doing. If you are currently reading this, I'm sorry.
Some things to know about me:
1. I am not funny. Well, I like to think I'm funny, but most people don't catch on to my dry sense of humour.
2. This blog is going to be used as a repository of my inane ramblings, musings, and various brick-a-brak. You may find it informative; you may even find it entertaining, but probably not. Anyway, as such a repository, I will only post when I feel like it.
3. I am a conservative Christian who believes in the Constitution as written by the Founders of the United States of America. If you have a problem with any of that, I will probably end up offending you.
