No-shave November

I decided to grow out a beard again this year.  There are no girls involved this time (as suggested in some of my previous posts), but I liked it last year.  So I went ahead and started No-shave November early, mostly out of laziness.  It has been about three weeks, and it’s starting to look decent.  However, I still have the problem of poor coverage on the sides, and have thus been keeping it trimmed down to a goatee.

My goatee is getting to the point where I could think about styling it if I was feeling crazy.  Maybe I could grow my mustache so it sticks out straight to the sides, and then have a big curl on my chin.

Heck, why should I stop there?  I could take to wearing a monocle and bowler hat, and start tying innocent, young women to railroad tracks.

But then I would need a friend with a chiseled jaw and cleft chin to interfere, standing akimbo, saying, “Unhand her, Dan Backslide!”

Then I could respond, pointing out something in the distance, “You’re too late, Eric Sideiron!  The train is almost here!!”  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!”

And then he runs up and punches me; my monocle and hat go flying as I fly back dramatically while Eric produces an over-sized knife to cut the ropes binding the girl (named Dawn Goodman), and pulls her to safety just as the train passes.  But he and I are on opposite sides of the tracks, and I quickly grab the last car as it goes by, and then shake my fist angrily at him shouting, “You’ve thwarted me THIS time, Eric, but I'll be back, and THEN you’ll be sorry!!  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!”

As I fade into the distance, Dawn swoons into his arms, saying, “Oh, whatever will we do, Eric?”

Eric replies firmly, “Don’t worry, Dawn.  If he comes back, I'll be ready for him.”

They climb onto his horse (which was waiting there the whole time) to ride back to town, the orchestra swells into the final chords, and the words “The End” scrawl neatly across the screen just before fadeout.

And THAT would be my idea for a movie!